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The Daily Record,
Mar 20 2010
Velvet Elvis
Tam Cowan
You
Ain't Nothing But A Hot Dog. That was
the first song that sprung to mind when
I walked through the doors at the Glasgow
bar and grill Velvet Elvis.
And worse was
to follow, of course, from a self-confessed
fan of honking jokes and I found myself
distracted for the rest of the afternoon
as I tried to think of a few more...
What about Blue
Suede Choux Pastry? Devil's On Horseback
In Disguise? A Raspberry Fool Such As
I? His Latest Flamegrilled Burger? Don't
Be Gruel? In The Gateaux? Dire gags, sure,
but great food from a very talented team
in the kitchen. Return To Sender? No chance.
Four of us enjoyed three courses each
and every single dish was a winner.
Particularly the
burger (recently voted one of Glasgow's
top three). Honestly, folks, if Velvet
Elvis had been around when the king flew
into Prestwick Airport 50 years ago (the
same day his bags probably ended up in
Edinburgh) he'd have made a beeline for
Dumbarton Road.
It's a neighbourhood
bar and grill in the surroundings of an
original 1910 butchers' shop - complete
with meat hooks, Edwardian tiling and
a delivery boy's bicycle hanging from
the ceiling.
I love the fact
it's open from noon until midnight seven
days a week and the lunch menu is equally
sensible as it's served from 12-5pm and
offers terrific value for money at just
£11.95 for three courses. If truth
be told, I've returned twice since the
day I scribbled down these notes and it's
now one of my firm favourites.
The menu (printed
on the sleeve of genuine vinyl records)
offers five starters, five mains and five
desserts, plus a selection of homemade
soups and sandwiches. And it's all locally-sourced
produce with lots of wee nods to the extensive
list of first-class suppliers.
For example, the
eggs and chicken are free range, the fish
is from environmentally managed areas
outwith the North Sea and the beef is
from Kettlehill Farm near Milngavie.
Meanwhile, the
ham and bacon is "courtesy of"
(I love that expression - as if the pigs
have any say in the matter!) the Happy
Gloucester Old Spots near Longniddry.
Right, don't know
about you, but I'm now starving. Time
to tuck in...
I started with
some excellent, fully-flavoured smoked
mackerel pate served with the best oatcakes
I've tasted for some time (take a bow,
the Handmade Oatcake Company in Crieff).
Liz slurped away at the piping hot and
quite delicious courgette, Brie and basil
soup - served with great hunks of homemade
crusty bread - and was actually forced
to leave half of this delightfully creamy,
cheesy broth to stand any chance of having
room for her main course.
How often would
you say that with an £11.95 set
menu?
Her folks had
the mussels which were plump, fresh and
tasty (with or without the leek and cider
sauce as favoured by Elsie and blanked
by John, our resident plain eater, who
asked for them simply steamed).
Meanwhile, don't
miss the aforementioned burger. Top three
in Glasgow? Liz thought it was the best
she's ever had in Scotland.
The fish and chips
also hit all the high notes and I've actually
ordered it on my last two visits. Fresh
haddock (two generous, meaty fillets),
zero bones and a light, crispy batter
with a pile of proper, homemade chips
on the side. Comfort food at its very
best.
I was also very
impressed with something I wouldn't normally
order - the club sandwich. The bread was
properly toasted, the chicken was very
good quality and, crucially, there was
no fat on the bacon.
Dessert once again
made a mockery of the price tag. The moist
and chewy chocolate brownie was the size
of a house brick, while the carrot cake
(a slab and a half that would probably
cost about £4.50 from any High Street
coffee shop) would have kept Bugs Bunny
going for a fortnight. Just one complaint
- although, it wasn't from us. We overheard
a woman at the next table complaining
about the long delay between courses but
I thought that was a bit harsh.
Surely it's well
worth the wait when all the food at Velvet
Elvis is freshly prepared from scratch?
Now what is it wise men say...
Address:
566 Dumbarton Road Glasgow; Tel:
0141 334 6677; Open: All day, seven
days; Wheelchair access: No; Bill
for four: £65
Food: 5/5
- excellent from start to finish; Service:
4/5 - bright and cheery; Decor:
4/5 - quirky; Toilets: 3/5 - room
for improvement; Value: 5/5 - superb;
Total: 21/25
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